A gathering place for moms in Upstate South Carolina

Newest edition - Isabella Marie

The newest addition to our family arrived Wed July 14th, at 9:28am. Isabella Marie was 6 pounds 13 oz, 19 1/2 inch long. So far everything is going well. I can't say we have mastered nursing yet but we are on our way there. We met with our pediatrician today for a follow up since we were in the hospital for one night.
Isabella has a big sister Ava (4yrs old) who is acclimating to the new baby adjustment as best she can. I can tell she is feeling a bit displaced. So any suggestions would be wonderful. I'll keep you guys update on how things go!

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Permalink Reply by Katie Myers Hill on July 16, 2010 at 4:12pm

So excited for you! Everything must have gone great if you were only in the hospital for a night. I had a c-s so I was in for 3 nights....I actually was happy to be there that long since Luke was 2 weeks early and so small and jaundice. He was a little less than Isabella, but Nathan was a huge baby, so I thought Luke was just so tiny! I liked having us in the hospital for a while even though I missed Nathan.

Hope things get better with Ava. Just keep including her on things. Give her a gift and say it is a big sister gift from the baby. If people brought over gifts for the baby, I let Nathan open them. Sometimes I'd give him something like crayons or some other something he'd forgotten about and say it was a gift from that same person who gave Luke a gift. We also had a Big Brother book for him. He LOVED it! The grandparents read it to him when we were in the hospital and he continued to want it read to him at every nap and bedtime for a good 3 weeks. He related a lot to the little boy in the book and would recite it to us at times. Also include Ava in diaper changes (she can give you a diaper), ask her to bring you a baby blanket, etc and make a big deal about what a good big sister she is. Explain everything to her about breastfeeding. Nathan now points to my chest and says "baby's hungry!"

Oh and also try to do things just with her. When the baby is sleeping, color or play with Ava. Let her watch her favorite show while you are nursing. Take her with you if you are just going to pick up some dinner, just you and her. Nathan and I didn't do that too much since I didn't get out much following the c-s, but we are going to a bday party together tomorrow morning just the two of us and we are both excited about it.

That's about all I can tell you. Nathan is younger than Ava by a year but that is what worked with us. We were lucky in that he adjusted very well. HE did have some jealousy at the doctor's office early on when we took in the baby. He could tell the attention was all on Luke and kept trying to talk over us or the doctor. My husband had to take him out of the room so we could talk. It was obvious that was his way of acting out and after that we either brought toys for him at the doctor or left him with grandparents!

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Permalink Reply by Shanna Brown Hadden on July 20, 2010 at 10:07am

I had a 19 month old when we had our second. I had read or heard somewhere to put the older child first too. Babies cry and it won't kill them. If the baby was fussing and my older son wanted to be held I would put the baby in the crib and say, "Ok Seeger, Mommy is going to put you in your crib so you can cry. Cooper needs some Mommy time too. I will be back in a bit to get you." It worked wonders for Cooper to hear me say I was putting him before the baby every once in a while. Now of course I would never do this if Seeger was hungry, dirty, wet, or feeling sick (he was born at Christmas and had a cold frequently)...but I would do it if he was sleepy and just needed a nap. It also helped him learn to put himself to sleep.

Just take it one day at a time. That's all you can do. It will all fall into place before you know it. I have to say for me, the hardest part was the first 4 months. Which seems like forever! It flies by and should be an even shorter time for you since Ava is about 2 1/2 years older than Cooper was.