Manners at the Holidays...

Manners at the Holidays…

Whether it is Christmastime, Easter, Thanksgiving or a family birthday, the topic of kids and manners is always at the forefront of a parents’ mind. Here are some great ways to help your kids learn how to be “Miss Manners” while still enjoying themselves!

When receiving something, say thank-you.

It’s the most basic of manners to thank someone for a gift or an any act of kindness. But it doesn’t come naturally to a child! They may simply be shy or not know how to express their gratitude, or perhaps they don’t understand gratitude at all.

• Practice ahead of time – Make role-play a fun party of your pre-holiday prep work with the kids! Pretend to give them a gift and let them practice their responses, both verbal and expressions.
• Develop a script – Younger children, and perhaps some of the older ones, may be at a loss for words. Help them by developing a simple script they can use to thank someone for any gift. “Thank you so much for the XXXXX. It’s is really (DESCRIPTIVE WORD).” This will help them get more comfortable with the art of thankfulness.
• “What if I don’t like it?” – Inevitably you receive one or two gifts each year that you’re not excited about. Help your children understand that gratitude is appreciating the thought of someone giving you a gift more than the actual gift itself.
• Handwrite thank-you notes. – When appropriate, help your child write a thank-you note after the fact. Let them pick out some fun stationary. In the age of e-mail and texting, a handwritten note has a power effect.

Use your table manners.

Kids have boundless amounts of energy, so sitting at the table for an hour isn’t always easy for them.

• Set reasonable expectations on how long the kids should be at the table. While the adults may enjoy talking for hours, the kids will have ants in their pants. It’s fine to expect them to eat their meal, but after 30 minutes or so, it’s time to excuse the kids to go and play.
• Mind your forks and spoons. Make sure you’ve modeled at home how you expect your kids to behave at the table during holidays. Have them use their silverware to eat – not their fingers. Elbows off the table, feet out of the chair, and facing forward. If you allow these things at your table, remember: old habits die hard.

Show them how manners look in action.

Sometimes passive learning works best with kids, and I’ve found nothing better than books to help in that area! There is a great book called Emily’s Christmas Gifts (written by Emily Post) that showcases some wonderful manners and “gifts” – helping set the table, taking a friend to see Santa, etc.

Emily's Christmas Gifts 

Ban the Gadgets.

Kids are amazing with electronics these days. Toddlers can use iPads, pre-schoolers have their own “smart” device and just try prying those tweens away from the computer or the gaming system. The adults are pretty dependent on them, too – checking e-mail, updating Facebook, texting friends and playing games (Words with Friends, anyone?). But the holidays are a time for family and friends to enjoy each other without the aid of a gadget. Set some rules around the use of electronics at your holiday gatherings, but make sure they apply to kids and adults alike. It’s great fun to pull out the Wii for a family “Just Dance” marathon, but if you aren’t planning to use them as a group (or small groups) keep them packed away.

Give Back.

Sometimes the best lessons come from helping others. Find ways your family can give back during the Christmas season – sponsoring a less fortunate family, packing food bags, caroling at a retirement community… whatever fits your family best. Showing kids the true meaning of the holiday can help them understand that it’s not all about the presents they get, but the ones they can give.

Always be the person you want your child to be.

If you want them to be respectful, considerate, patient and honest, you need to be respectful, patient, considerate and honest.